Alright, let me just start with an apology for posting a shirt from Hot Topic. Normally, I wouldn’t even consider it, but it’s fitting… and fuck it, I like it.

So I’m standing outside work smoking a cigarette and the conversation is on someone accidently running over a puppy or something and this lady says, “Did you hear on the radio this morning about the squirrels in London that are addicted to crack? Apparently they find baggies and stashes and stuff, eat it and now there’s a major problem with cracked out, aggresive squirrels.” So I figure, that’s gotta be bullshit, right? So I look it up. Yup, bullshit started in a forum a few years ago or something and the story has made it’s way to the Fox News site, British news and now, all the way to Dallas morning radio apparently. Just goes to show what a reliable, thoroughly-investigated media system we have here. Makes you sleep easy at night, doesn’t it?

But if there were some doped up squirrels, they’d be working for Willy Wonka for sure. At least squirrels hopped up on chocolate, which would probably be bad enough.