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So I had this great Top 10 list planned for you to send you off into the holidays… but it’s not ready yet, so see ya Monday for a recap of the TeeJunkie’s 10 favorite tees (or brands) of 2005. Well, actually, I probably won’t go to the trouble of seeing if they were actually made starting in 2005. That’s a little formal… or something. Whatever. My head hurts. Maybe I shouldn’t've started drinking $2 margaritas at noon…
update 12-27: nah, fuck the list. I’m taking a break for a few more days…
So there was this little girl in line at the mall to see Santa. When it comes to her turn, she hops up on his lap and Santa asks, “What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas this year”?
The little girl says, “I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe.”
Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, “Well sweetie, I thought Barbie comes with Ken.”
“No”, says the little girl. “She comes with G.I. Joe… she fakes it with Ken.”
Okay. Sorry… just hadn’t told a joke in a while. Oh well… looks like Cargo Clothing might be the next ones served with a C&D.
I know this isn’t much of a heads up on this contest, but shit… I just found out about it (ending around New Years). And yeah, I know the prizes are not exactly Threadless caliber, but look at it like this… you won’t be up against the number of entries as on Threadless either. So anyway, my favorite little do-it-yourself record label, Asaurus Records, is having a contest to design them a label shirt. If you win, you’ll get yourself one of the shirts and your choice of 3 records from the label. 3 records = $15, but that’s beside the point. If you win, I suggest getting both Elliott The Letter Ostrich records, and probably the new Ponies In The Surf if you’re into folk music. ETLO is awesome though… a pop ballad about Jason Vorhees… “you’re the one I’ve been killing for / you’re the one I’d take Manhattan for” (or something like that)… nice! So even if you don’t win, I suggest getting the ETLO anyway.
go directly to the contest rules here
Okay, it’s 1 o’clock in the morning on a Monday, so I should be getting some sleep to be well rested for meetings in the morning, but not me. I’m reading up on all kinds of wacked out possibilities of the future. Is John Titor for real? Are we heading for another civil war, nuclear attacks, billions dead and the rest of us left in villages and clans? Or should I read this book about how to survive a robot uprising? Or maybe I really do need some sleep… Anyway, this new tee from Mono Clothing reminds me of the cover of The Flaming Lips’ Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots. So aside from robots killing each other or us and certain doom in WWIII, that warrants a second post, right?
In the clearing stands a boxer, and a fighter by his trade / And he carries the reminders of every glove that laid him down or cut him / ’til he cried out in his anger and his shame / I am leaving, I am leaving, but the fighter still remains / Yes he still remains
Alright, I don’t know what Simon & Garfunkel lyrics really have to do with this other than this shirt is called “The Boxer”, but fuck it. And maybe it’s a boxer tee because Jon at Standard Motion does a bunch of great gig posters for Southpaw, which is apparently a venue in Brooklyn… I dunno. So anyway, check out the posters (concert posters on sale for $10) and the limited edition art prints while your there getting your Boxer tee.
So you might remember quite some time back, I posted that killer tee from La Fee Absinthe in France and mentioned that they ship bottles to the US. I told you all to go order some and let me know if you got it. Well, nobody said anything about it, so I had to do it myself. About 4 or 5 days later, a nice descretely marked cardboard box straight from France arrived at my doorstep. Bottles and Absinthe spoon intact. So after searching all over Dallas for 2 days for some fuckin’ sugar cubes (apparently kids make igloos out of them or some shit for school projects about this time of year, little bastards!), I finally found some at Central Market. 9 bucks for 1 pound of cubes… that’s right. 9 US dollars! For some sugar, sourced from the Congo or some shit, packaged in France and marked way the fuck up. But I wasn’t leaving that store empty handed. I had to have the cubes to prepare my first glass of the green fairy. So here I am now, cloudy green concoction in hand, writing to all of you. *sip* This stuff is 68% alcohol and has the wormwood, like the original, not the bullshit they sell in liquor stores here in the states that they call absinthe. This is the real thing. It’s smooth and has no alcohol burn - 68%! Strong licorice taste from the anise… *sip* Apparently the myths about the hallucinations, madness and all that are bullshit, but we’ll see what happens. All in the name of journalism, of course…
PS: If you happen to be some sort of Federal Agent or something, I was just kidding about living in Texas. I actually live in the UK, Texans just always seem so bloody cowboy cool on the tele. Remember the alamo, mate! Cheers!
Hellsyeah! One of my all time favorite tees is back, with a little change to the roster. I’m not sure how long it’s been back, I haven’t visited Hello Minor in quite some time, but I was looking back at some of the early posts here, and Hello Minor was like the 2nd or 3rd post I did, over 6 months ago. After I posted it, I found out that they got a “McCease and Desist” (as they put it), so I’m glad to see the design is once again alive and well. Anyway, fuck McDonald’s, man! They should’ve been happy to be honored alongside MJ, Pee Wee, Manson, Hunter S. Thompson… who else is on there?… *looking* …Ghandi, Mr. T, Spock, Nixon, Bob Marley, Mike Tyson, Slick Rick (I think?), Prince? Take your nasty fuckin’ McRib and fuck yourself with it!
Who says you don’t learn anything from the TeeJunkie? I’m sure this will come up someday for maybe one of you… you know, maybe you’ll be on Jeopardy (Is that still on?) and the category will be Asian Culture or something. So here’s my pointless info for the day, the three wise monkeys are named Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru (Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Speak no evil).
Anyway, this No Evil tee from gltss (God likes to smell sweet) is a pretty nice take on the theme. And they just put everything on sale, order by the 17th for Christmas delivery. $30 tees are now $18, $25 tees are now $15.
Prices are in Canadian dollars, so that should convert to around $13 - $15.50… I think… that’s what Google says anyway.
And in an email I got from them, they said “P.S. If you can’t do paypal, let us know. We’ll even do barter. We need a massage for instance.” I don’t know what that’s all about, but if you’re in Toronto, why don’t you go give ‘em a rub, eh?
Just a reminder, in case you didn’t know, the Threadless $10 sale is ending this Thursday at noon… and of course, they’ve got some more new tees. “The Biblical Disaster” is particularly pleasing to me.