This may not look like the most elegant T-shirt ever, but believe me, it’s been the most exciting thing I’ve seen for a long, long time.

This is a garment that, according to the Japanese designers, is based on the area cleared by windscreen wipers. So that’s definitely an abstract depiction!

Anyway, depending on the version you buy, the curves are deceptive – there’s version I which has three stripes and the top one is a microfibre strip that can be used to polish up your mobile or other device, while version II has a microfibre bottom strip that can be used by the average geek to clean his or her spectacles. I’m assuming it works for night-goggles too, if that’s your bag.

Is that not awesome!

The price is fearsome – around £40 plus, and I say again, PLUS shipping, but it’s such an amazing concept and I think, if you’re a guy, you might even find that cute gals come and ask if they can clean their HTC or iPhone on your T-shirt, and that’s priceless.

Post by Mikey who might give up his contact lenses for this T-shirt …

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Thrilled to bits with this Bob Dylan T-shirt, nicely rendered in black and white with a good crisp visual of the quotation which is classic Bob, “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.”

Couldn’t agree more. Can’t see why there’s a problem when all I want to do is sit and play blow football with a MacDonald’s straw and a rolled-up Crème Egg wrapper. Okay. I did eat the Crème Egg, but how else was I going to get the tinfoil to make a mini football? Okay, it wasn’t my egg, but like Bob says, I did what I wanted to do!

£15 is a reasonable price for this ThreeSixSix design which is printed on a Gildan blank, and it’s put together in Glasgow which seems to add a whole level of gritty realism to the work.

Post by Mikey who has been sent to Coventry over a chocolate egg …

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This one took me a while to track down, believe me. I saw it on New Year’s in London and grabbed a picture on my mobile, but it was a really crowded party and I never actually got across the room to talk to the girl who was wearing it, and she had a scarf that covered to top of the image so I could only see the bottom of the lettering which made it a task and a half to decipher. But I got there, with the help of a grunge rocker gal who’s the friend of a friend and who took one look at the picture I texted her and texted back one word: Paramore. Then she texted another word: emo.

So … I don’t know. Is it emo? Whatever.

$25.00 is really really cheap for such an excellent T-shirt. It seems labelist to call it emo, but maybe that’s my own judgement. Either way, it’s a T-shirt that I’d be happy to wear.

Post by Kay who is wondering why labels matter …

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King Apparel have some excellent downloads, also interesting if a bit hit and miss (or hit and mix?) clothing. I recommend the Faze Miyake grime track and this splendid T-shirt which has been winning me plaudits on the run up to Bestival. I’m always a bit twitched what to pack for a September festival, let alone one on a small island in the middle of a lot of wet, but black tees under black hoodies always seem to work and this T-shirt with its faintly ambient styling and colours evocative of an Ibiza morning-after really works well for sun or rain.

At just £12.50 and sizing up to proper big, without being skimpy in weight, this T-shirt is no lightweight which is true also of the King Apparel site!

Post by Mikey who dreads going over the water …

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From redbubble, specifically glyphobet at redbubble.

Here in the UK, it’s Shrove Tuesday. All I can tell you about this event is it’s nominally religious, but really nominous. It’s all about the food.

Shrove Tuesday is pancake day, when everybody’s mother puts on a frilly apron and tosses the old pancakes for family pleasure. If you don’t have a mother, or an apron, you toss your own.

Eat them British style with sugar and lemon juice, or tart them up like Americans do with aerosol cream and strawberries, or take the Continental crepe approach with bananas and hazelnut spread – however you eat yours, it’s pancakes to the people for £15.12.

Post by Mikey, who can batter with the best …

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So another year’s over, and what have we done?

Not a lot. In December me and Kay both had the ‘flu which wiped out teejunkie for most of the month. We didn’t infect each other btw. I wanted to say that before nasty minds started thinking the worst but given that nasty minds will think the worst anyway, I’m wasting my time, aren’t I?

Anyway – given the choice between looking back on 2010 and looking forward to 2011 I decided to do neither. Instead I thought some famous, infamous and right rich-making T-shirts might interest you lot.

Infamous T-shirts in 2010. There were a few, right? People getting arrested in airports for wearing terrorism on their fronts; hate Ts, shock Ts, but perhaps the biggest story of the year happened only a couple of weeks ago resulted in people buying a T-shirt they hadn’t seen, with a payment system that kept refusing to take their money, to support a guy that nobody could find, who was revealing the secrets that all the other guys wanted kept secret. Save-wikileaks.org said it “was giving away free t-shirt as a means to spread the word about Wikileaks and its fight to protect freedom of speech” but as one online payment system after another refused to process the wikileaks dosh, those tees became the currency of anarchy and wikileaks counterfeits and riffs flooded the net. I’m liking this redbubble comment shirt best of the wave.

Royal Wedding 2011. In case you hadn’t noticed, the UK is going nuptial in 2011. Here’s a zazzle take on Kate and Wills, which is a nice twisted mirror to his parents’ wedding in ’81.

If you have any old Charles and Di T-shirts, you could be looking at a nice little earner. One that was banned from sale back in 1981 sold on eBay in 2007 for £300.00 and today is valued at £750. If you’re wondering, it’s a cartoon image of the couple in bed on the honeymoon morning and it was originally sold in W.H. Smiths Heathrow, before the Lord Chancellor decided it was offensive to the monarchy. Find that in your attic and you could be considerably richer in 2011!

Post by Mikey who thinks H1N1 is an evil virus …

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We’re having a language issue in the office right now. Not sure why, but every T-shirt that we pick is spelt differently in the UK and the USA. This one has an a in the UK but not in the USA but the really odd thing about it is that both of us have syn(a)esthesia. So we both want this T-shirt.

Designed by The Stray, it features the most common form of the condition, which is where music has colours for the hearer. Other forms of the condition mean that days of the week or numbers have colours or that people see sounds or hear colours. Weird, right?

Anyway, this is tee is a great example of making a concept concrete. The use of shape and colour and the stylised images that convey a sense rather than simply a visual are perfectly combined. If the colours came out of a iPhone, for example, you wouldn’t get the idea that the music is causing the neurological expression of the brain so easily. It’s the old school gramophone that makes the viewer step back from the pretty picture and think about what’s actually being expressed.

Also worth noting is that this is the first time I have ever picked a T-shirt with a sequin effect on it – and almost certainly the last. And that The Stray has possibly the best email address in the world. If you want to show your love you can email him on kissmyaesthetic@gmail.com

On the downside, the shipping from the US to here is $9, which feels a bit steep for a T-shirt that’s actually beautifully priced right now at just $15. There’s an end of summer sale at Design by Humans which means you can grab some bargains if you’re US based.

Post by Mikey who gets colours when he hears music and headaches when he hears pop music …

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So there’s at least another ninety minutes of nail-biting misery to come and on Sunday there will either be a vuvuzela chorus through the streets of the UK or a deathly silence …

I know which side of the equation I fall on, but are you a vuvuzela hater or a vuvuzela lover? Either way, caughtoffside.com has a T-shirt to make your opinion known.

While we’re on the subject, there’s controversy about the origins of vuvuzela – some say it’s the kudu horn that was blown to summon African villagers to meetings, but one company that supplies the vuvuzela says this is all rubbish: they claim that the original vuvuzela actually came into Africa from America via the fans of a female Chinese basketball team. There are similar arguments about how the name came about – one claim is that it’s from isiZulu for making noise, while others say township slang for the word ‘shower’, either because it ‘showers people with music’ or because it looks a bit like a shower head.

Whatever. I’d rather wear a picture of one than have to blow one, and that’s a fact.

Post by Mikey who has no fingernails left …

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Will I see you there? Nope. And Mikey didn’t get a ticket this year either, so teejunkie is totally unrepresented at Glastonbury in 2010. Sadness : (

However, that hasn’t stopped me picking out the Tee I would have worn if I’d got in – and it’s a cute little number actually produced in the town of Glastonbury (yes, there is a town) and featuring the tor which is like a big rock. Why the tor is so important is complicated: either it’s ley lines and magicke (the hippy version) or it’s the fact that the town has nothing else that’s even remotely noteworthy (the Mikey version) but either way, the key feature of this T-shirt is not the tor but the dinky rainbow. You can set it to eight different lighting sequences to match your mood, or there’s a sound activated mode which means your teeshirt actually keeps time to the music – how cool is that?

And it just keeps getting better: some of the cost of each tee funds local stuff like schools and Glastonbury in Bloom (don’t ask me, I have no idea, but it’s a good thing, apparently) and the design has been licensed by Glastonbury Town Council. So there. So buy it here.

Post by Kay who is going to miss the mud …

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Or that’s what it says over at Diesel Sweeties. Actually it says that on the notebook page, not the T-shirt page but what the hell, who’s counting pages (geek answer, nobody is, we have a program for that).

Created by the bizarrely human sounding Richard Stevens, Diesel Sweeties is a weird blend of comic, shopfront, geekworld stuff. I like it – there are some awesome socks and the notebooks (the paper kind, not the computer kind) are rather cool too, although I’m faintly annoyed that they are not those graph paper notebooks that you get for math class which would be geekier by far … okay, that’s picky, they are great notebooks, I’d be proud to have one.

Also … and here’s the thing, when you get into a new relationship (not saying that I am, just saying that this happens when you do, right?) you start doing things differently – you watch different TV, listen to new music, eat food you’ve never tried before … so Big Bang Theory. Not my usual show, but I can get the jokes, I can be geeky with the best of them and then, congruence – on TV, Big Bang Theory, and there’s a T-shirt I recognise!

Instant kudos from the person I’m watching TV with (and I’m not saying he’s anything other than a friend, understand?) and here it is, just as I was able to prove to him: Diesel Sweeties has the tee that was on TV.

Also Diesel Sweeties has the funniest exchange policy write-up, buried in its small print, which is pretty big print, to be honest. Herewith:
If you need to exchange your shirt for a different size:

+ Please make sure the shirt is undamaged and unwashed. We need to get your shirt back in good condition for a new customer. You wouldn’t want to buy a dirty or smelly shirt, would you? (Please note, this is not Japan.)
Isn’t that cute? Life is cool …

Post by Kay who has an algorithmic yen …

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