So there’s at least another ninety minutes of nail-biting misery to come and on Sunday there will either be a vuvuzela chorus through the streets of the UK or a deathly silence …

I know which side of the equation I fall on, but are you a vuvuzela hater or a vuvuzela lover? Either way, caughtoffside.com has a T-shirt to make your opinion known.

While we’re on the subject, there’s controversy about the origins of vuvuzela – some say it’s the kudu horn that was blown to summon African villagers to meetings, but one company that supplies the vuvuzela says this is all rubbish: they claim that the original vuvuzela actually came into Africa from America via the fans of a female Chinese basketball team. There are similar arguments about how the name came about – one claim is that it’s from isiZulu for making noise, while others say township slang for the word ‘shower’, either because it ‘showers people with music’ or because it looks a bit like a shower head.

Whatever. I’d rather wear a picture of one than have to blow one, and that’s a fact.

Post by Mikey who has no fingernails left …

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The designer of this one is Nelleke from Amsterdam – she’s multimedia of course. Anyway what I like about this one is that it’s one of those T-shirts that looks like one thing from a distance and becomes something totally other up close.

You know those generic ‘cute’ T-shirts that are sold by the hundreds of thousands in department stores? They have a rabbit or a kitten or a mouse or whatever on them and they’ve been designed to be bland, blah and somehow appealing. Well, seen across a room, that’s what Monster Cupcake looks like. But once you’re in detail range, it becomes a considerably creepier proposition – a cake eat cake world.

This tee has been around a couple of years, but it’s still worth investing in. The price is good at £15, the production values are excellent at Dripping In Fat, so you’re getting some longevity in the garment and the look on your gran’s face as she gets up close and sees what you’re actually wearing is priceless. Buy Monster Cupcake – it’s worth it.

Post by Mikey who – while on the subject of monsters – has a vuvuzela-playing neighbour …

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Will I see you there? Nope. And Mikey didn’t get a ticket this year either, so teejunkie is totally unrepresented at Glastonbury in 2010. Sadness : (

However, that hasn’t stopped me picking out the Tee I would have worn if I’d got in – and it’s a cute little number actually produced in the town of Glastonbury (yes, there is a town) and featuring the tor which is like a big rock. Why the tor is so important is complicated: either it’s ley lines and magicke (the hippy version) or it’s the fact that the town has nothing else that’s even remotely noteworthy (the Mikey version) but either way, the key feature of this T-shirt is not the tor but the dinky rainbow. You can set it to eight different lighting sequences to match your mood, or there’s a sound activated mode which means your teeshirt actually keeps time to the music – how cool is that?

And it just keeps getting better: some of the cost of each tee funds local stuff like schools and Glastonbury in Bloom (don’t ask me, I have no idea, but it’s a good thing, apparently) and the design has been licensed by Glastonbury Town Council. So there. So buy it here.

Post by Kay who is going to miss the mud …

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Parinto, as always, have some very cool, very stylish T-shirts that are more like Roger Daltrey on a moped than a bunch of Kiwis working with casual clothing. It’s really weird, how uber-elegant their stuff is.

This year I’m particularly taken by the bird skull T-shirt by Henrietta Harris. She’s Auckland-based and her work has appeared all over the shop, including Amnesty International and Flying Nun Records. The men’s T-shirt comes in white or yellow, and usually I’d go for the white, but I’ve got to say that the yellow is impressive, perhaps because the extremely detailed overprinting is not black, but a nice tomato red colour which gives less contrast and more subtlety.

Not everybody likes wearing images of dead things on their front – a position which I respect without understanding it, in which case there are probably other Parinto teeshirts that would suit you better, but I’d suggest that the sheer style of this T-shirt could overcome your squeamishness if you stick with it for a day or so. Seriously, before you know it you’ll be living in a loft with a blonde translator and drinking Italian coffee in bed.

Post by Mikey who has delusions of adequacy, stylewise …

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Plain Lazy’s Lazy Lady line often has the prettiest things for the female who likes relaxed clothing. This pretty oh-so-pretty dress is just as subtle as they come, which is unusual in the world of cotton dresses, which are often (shall we say brash? Yes, I think we shall) …

Also, Mikey likes Plain Lazy because they aren’t too bothered about fixing their blog and stuff. However, according to their website, they are giving away goodies for the best festival images. Or, as they put it, ‘Festival season is almost here and we want to share it with you! We’re giving out prizes for the photos and videos which best capture the lazy festival spirit. Upload your snaps to our Flickr group or tell us about your Youtube video, for a chance to win. Get out there!’

Sooo … assuming that’s this year’s info, not last year’s, you could win some nice stuff as well as browsing their current line of pretty things. Nothing wrong with that as a scenario!

Post by Kay who has tickets for Glasto …

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We’ve been circling this one like a pair of vultures in the office. Neither of us wanted to pounce too soon, but we both wanted to get into the meaty stuff of the Prada Alphabet T-shirts.

Our views are somewhat different. Kay just goes ‘squee’ whenever she sees the tees in question, while I develop a total incredulity that borders on scorn.

Granted, they are excellent designs, by Miuccia Prada. Granted, they are a limited edition. Granted, it’s a great collab between Miuccia and Paris-based design partnership M/M. Granted, the range are packed in an archive box with an essay by some Italian philosopher person. Granted all that – I still don’t see how a T-shirt can cost £150.

Don’t worry though, you can’t buy them online, so if you were suddenly driven to invest in one of these truly astonishing tees, you’d have to go and find a Prada shop to go mad in.

Post by Mikey who thinks ‘squee’ is an insane way to respond to clothing …

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To be brutally frank, my favorite Tee on the ARKA site right now is actually the owl, not Abstraction. But here’s the thing – I have a sense, maybe even an intuition, that owls are not summer wear. I don’t think there’s actually a rule about it, not like the one about never mixing brown and blue (which is stupid anyway – brown and blue look great together) so maybe it’s more of a guideline. Anyway, I doubt I’d wear an owl teeshirt from May thru to fall, so I went with something I would wear.

It’s a V-neck (which Mikey hates) with a design that ARKA describe as a tribute to Eastern European artwork. Okay … but why, exactly? I mean, they could be right, for all I know, but isn’t abstract art meant to be more universal than that? Anyway, it’s a non-toxic eco-friendly print on premium cotton tee, which it would have to be at the price of $35.00.

Also, ARKA has one of those weird ‘about’ sections that drive Mikey totally batshit, ie: ARKA embodies the mindset of individuals who are well rounded and can’t define themselves with a single word or phrase. Every design is an eclectic blend of various influences from around the globe. Each graphic has a story and a purpose. The true meaning of the word “ARKA” is to be the king of all kings. However, this can be interpreted differently by different individuals. We feel that everybody has a leader within and can contribute to the beauty of today’s world.

Well wow to that! But the teeshirt is cool and sort of Steely Dan if you take my meaning …

Post by Kay who’s not sure she could tell her Eastern European influences from any others …

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Mike Perry gets around – he’s have a big exhib somewhere starting with a W for a start. There’s something both childlike and disturbing about the way that Perry fills an area of blankness – this T-shirt is a perfect example of how we manages to cram a space and yet at the same time open up space within an apparently congested design.

What I’m not too thrilled about with this teeshirt is the base colour – I think that this combination of shape and perspective would have worked better on a more neutral background, maybe charcoal grey, to enhance the Escher-like feel of the work.

Allike is an interesting store – although I don’t speak a word of German. Is ‘grosse wahlen what I think it is?’

Post by Mikey whose wahlen is not at all grosse …

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Or that’s what it says over at Diesel Sweeties. Actually it says that on the notebook page, not the T-shirt page but what the hell, who’s counting pages (geek answer, nobody is, we have a program for that).

Created by the bizarrely human sounding Richard Stevens, Diesel Sweeties is a weird blend of comic, shopfront, geekworld stuff. I like it – there are some awesome socks and the notebooks (the paper kind, not the computer kind) are rather cool too, although I’m faintly annoyed that they are not those graph paper notebooks that you get for math class which would be geekier by far … okay, that’s picky, they are great notebooks, I’d be proud to have one.

Also … and here’s the thing, when you get into a new relationship (not saying that I am, just saying that this happens when you do, right?) you start doing things differently – you watch different TV, listen to new music, eat food you’ve never tried before … so Big Bang Theory. Not my usual show, but I can get the jokes, I can be geeky with the best of them and then, congruence – on TV, Big Bang Theory, and there’s a T-shirt I recognise!

Instant kudos from the person I’m watching TV with (and I’m not saying he’s anything other than a friend, understand?) and here it is, just as I was able to prove to him: Diesel Sweeties has the tee that was on TV.

Also Diesel Sweeties has the funniest exchange policy write-up, buried in its small print, which is pretty big print, to be honest. Herewith:
If you need to exchange your shirt for a different size:

+ Please make sure the shirt is undamaged and unwashed. We need to get your shirt back in good condition for a new customer. You wouldn’t want to buy a dirty or smelly shirt, would you? (Please note, this is not Japan.)
Isn’t that cute? Life is cool …

Post by Kay who has an algorithmic yen …

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Step Four was started by Bret Fisher and Tyler Ruffino – right now it seems a bit stalled as their new site is promised. And promised. And …

Anyway, while they keep us waiting, their Octo Boy is a very cool offering – they say he’s ‘Half-man, half-sea creature, aaall good. You’ll have to forgive his clothes though. He’s not from around here.’ This T-shirt comes with a button pack (that’s badges for English speakers) it’s screen printed on a 4.5 oz. 100% combed ring-spun white Tee and it costs $17.95.

Now I know some people object to paying that kind of money for a T-shirt, but just work it out in cappuccinos and it’s a steal. Also, it will suit you better than a frothy coffee, that’s a promise.

Post by Mikey who likes his octopus well fried …

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